Failing is not bad, it’s worse, when it ends your life in an Engineering college.

When I started my B.tech, obviously from the extreme pressure of my parents, I knew that i wasn’t tailor made for the highly prestigious Engineering. Instead, I needed to take an year off before the college, that’s probably because I had no idea what I wanna do, which I also don’t have right now, after surviving five semesters of engineering ( flunking three to four exams per semester ).

“But then at the time of your marriage, It would become hard for us to answer your in laws that year gap”, the mother’s reply to my dropping off. She was literally thinking about my wedding, when i just gave my 12 standard exams. God bless her.

“Some drop for preparing for IIT, some go to Kota, some start taking tuition and you want to sit idle at home, wanking, just to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life”, Dad couldn’t remain away from yelling out. I was glad he didn’t come up with the words, “when I was of your age…”. I guess, God bless him, too.

Dad just said one thing right, wanking, that is one thing, I’m damn sure, every guy is good at.

That time I didn’t focused on that point, I wish I would have. As then the possibilities would have been more. Becoming a porn star would be on the top. Second could be becoming a gigolo and third could be just pleasuring self using imagination. (which is done every night, sometimes a couples of times)

Imagination is must. Einstein also quoted, “Imagination is more important than Knowledge”. Painting is the second most thing where we had to use our hands and imagination simultaneously. I tried my hand at that too, but I guess, the former one is much better.

When my dropping off an year scheme didn’t work, I came up with the idea of doing Journalism. Because that course seemed to the only course where I didn’t have to cram books. There also I failed. Fashion Designing was also in the bucket, but then painting was already out of the ground. Next, too young for starting a business and too obese for even thinking of Athletics.

One by one, all of my career options were cut down just like Yuvraj Singh got dropped from Cricket World Cup, 2K15. Extremely hurting.

In the end, I was thrown in a private engineering institution with an utmost belief that an Er would be preceding my name.

I guess, my parents only wished for an engineer. I wish, they should have read Kamasutra or something that at what angle they could give birth to an engineer, but that didn’t happen and somehow i got promoted.

Sometimes, i think my parents adopted my younger sister because at my early years they had an intuition that i would be a disappointment. Not sure about the former part, but 1000% certain about the later one.

For now, I guess it’s done. Hoping that next time I would be writing about how I end up writing this blog.

— raman thukral

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