FORGET ‘WE’, TRY ‘ME’

As soon as we plunge into puberty, the only one thing that rules our minds is the sexual pleasure. That’s the stage when the complete exploration begins. Or I may say, the real exploration.

The brain that was focused on academic books shifts to adult magazines and porn sites. The mood that was refreshed by playing outside with the friends just plans to steal a few minutes alone for playing with the self. The heart that was rejoiced by listening to the top charts of the day, it starts seeking for the most erotic music videos. The day that used to start with a little time in the washroom for just a pee suddenly turns into a few minutes of hand’s workout. The night that used to end up in the mother’s lap swaps the place on the lonely beds with imaginary stuff. The haunt that was used for used for discussing school stuff turned into an ogling realm. The gang talks that were generally about cricket, soccer, and films, strived towards only one topic of some specific type of movies.

That’s the high situation of emergency, where the body gets hijacked by some internal trigger with the motive of destroying the innocence.

For seeking physical pleasure, the hunt starts. After fully learning about the weapon for years, the hunter is now ready to shoot the target. And that’s when the search starts. The search of finding a mate. The search for getting laid. The trail begins with an agenda of becoming a ‘WE’, from ‘ME’.

From a personal experience, I can say, the hunt never seems appealing. Instead, one ends up hollow from inside. Yeah, that’s the biggest irony here. The journey was to complete the self, but one ends up losing it real self. The road begins with a stellar touch and it leads deep down in an abyss.

And what next? Frustration? Depression? Stress? Dizzy behavior? Yes, you can add on all the negative feelings in this list.

But what’s the escape root? Is there any?

I don’t know who said this, but this is an extremely crucial statement, “Whatever the problem in your life is, the solution always lies in your hands”.

Yes, there is. BUT No. It is NOT the prolong masturbation. And it’s definitely not the continuous visits to brothels.

The problem arose from inside. Then how can the solution be not from within?

“Attachments and Desires are the root cause of all of our sufferings”, Buddha quoted.

It’s our fundamental desire to have sex. Moreover, it’s a basic need.

And on this M.K. Gandhi has something to say, “There is enough for a man’s need, but not his greed”.

At first, we try to solve the matter by ourselves. And it surely helps sometimes. But ultimately, we again crave for the same stuff.

We become so attached with feeling that we start treading in the wrong direction. Our need takes a monstrous form and then ugly things happen. We end up doing ugly things with others. Like, getting in relationships just for the purpose of having sex, befriending them just for one thing, breaking others heart because our motive gets fulfilled, emotionally hurting the people who laid their trust on us and rapes.

And all this at what cost?

“We destroy someone’s whole life just for our pleasure of few seconds”.

No one will ever come and tell you the difference. Just like there is a hair line difference between belief and superstition, here also, is the same difference. And we gotta grab it ourselves.

“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure”, golden words by Viktor Frankl.

Everything that surrounds us, the outside and the inside, sometimes lead us in the opposite direction. And the best thing is, we hold the choice. We have the power to decide. We certainly can’t control, but we CAN CHOOSE.

Choose becoming a better human being and your pockets will be filled with the stuff of which you are deserving.

Focus on the ‘ME’. How to make this ‘ME’ a success rather than chasing some meaningless ideologies.

Because if your ‘ME’ is good, you increase the probability of a higher ‘WE’.

— raman thukral