No wonder, this is one experience each one of us is familiar with. No matter, how much strong bond we may possess, how much deep our understanding is, but sometimes we mess up and the end result is one lost relationship; one lost friendship.

Surely, it hurts. It doesn’t matter, whether we leave the person or the person leaves us, the pain of separation runs in the veins.

There is a saying, “Good friends remain good while it is the best ones who tear us apart”.

And everyone has this one lost friend, who once meant everything and now they are the ‘KNOWN STRANGERS’. I like this term. It’s awful, but it’s one of the realities of life.

These are some points that happen after the bond breaks.

In a different time, we used to spend the whole day chatting and gossiping and bitching.
In a different time, we are unaware of each other’s whereabouts.

In a different time, we used to be there for each other’s problems.
In a different time, we are each other’s problem.

In a different time, we used to create the mess for others.
In a different time, we ended up as a mess in the lives for one another.

In a different time, we had this colossal faith that we won’t leave each other.
In a different time, we have this colossal faith that we can’t be with each other.

An old proverb says, “Every coin has two sides”. Which also means that there are more than one sides of a story.

But how losing someone close can give us something else than pain and grief and sometimes regret?

What I felt a few days back was this, “It is a heuristics approach of learning”.

Learning about what? I guess, we all the wanderers here. Wandering on this lonely planet (this is because we feel it’s lonely), just to seek ourselves. Seek everything that our souls already know. Seeking the stuff to be forgotten again as we die. Then why are we doing this? None of us remembers anything the moment we put our feet on this planet. And still we keep on putting our full efforts towards something which will ultimately perish one day and the list includes our fame, ego, cash in the bank accounts, the people who accompany us and sadly, we ourselves.

Let me give you something related to this, “The whole philosophy to life is based on letting go”, quoted by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

What happens is, we get attached. We become so attached with ourselves that we overlook every other stuff. We miss the relevant stuff. But nothing is relevant when you are heading towards the abode of death.

This seems confusing. One side is to not just focus on ourselves and the other side is that everything vanishes.

The point is to grow. When we lose a material stuff, we can have it back, but the same rule doesn’t run with the loss of relationships. And when a relationship breaks, we tread towards the negative side of life. Which shouldn’t be adopted at any cost?

We must accept it with full respect. Why? Because this is also a part of self-learning. That’s why I mentioned heuristics. Because every second we are learning something or the other. We couldn’t even stop learning. It’s a constant process, like struggle and love.

Yoda said, “Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything that you fear to lose”.

There is a beauty in everything that happens to us. Life is indeed beautiful. We just need the eyes and courage to look at it.

Here’s to the lost friendships.

— raman thukral



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