There hasn’t been a day in my life when the thought of running away not excites me. Even after my first kiss, I wasn’t up to this level. But whenever I imagine myself away from all of this, goosebumps is the only response I get.
Maybe I have seen it all. Maybe I have experienced every possible stuff. And if I haven’t, it doesn’t make any difference.
The societical mindsets can’t tease me more. They had already messed up my little soul. The pure being had been ruined. And now, the only way out is to move out.
Why? Because Its been 22 years and not even a once I felt I belong here. Chasing dreams and fulfilling expectations is not I can sustain. The only dream is to be free. The only expectation is to die without regrets.
But how this can be done? I have no idea. Planning is not my forte. I wish to have that skill. But somehow planning for future or anything always seemed futile. As whatever I hoped for, it never happened. I hoped for a mate, I ended up getting hate. I hoped for a true friendship, I lost myself in proving my loyalities. I hoped for non-judgemental parents, I never was able to make them happy.
Maybe I was born like this. Or maybe I grew up like this.
Wherever I see around, I don’t see people happy. And whenever I look at myself, neither do I see any difference. The only thing that separates me from them is they know how to survive. And they are. But me? I can’t survive. Because I don’t want to. Either I aspire full freedom, liberty or death. Not a third option. It’s enough of me to absorb the trash. Now, I want to fill my life with bliss.
I know my this action will also be judged. I soon will be tagged as the coward one..the one who couldn’t cope up with the society and absconded leaving his old parents behind. But the idea of achieving something or to become this..never ignited me. The moment I saw myself doing all that, I always saw myself in shackles. I don’t want to be tamed.
I had given up the idea of becoming something or someone..as in both the cases I end up losing myself. I do want to lose myself, but only in the stuff that connects to me.
I have decided to move ahead and leave my clan
I know it sounds crazy as I have no plan
But this is only the best part
As now I finally will be a Free Man.

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